E. 7 Why The Loudest Boss Isn’t The Best Leader

Ever notice how the loudest voice in the room rarely creates the strongest team? We unpack a different way to lead—one rooted in calm presence, clear expectations, and steady follow-through—so your people perform without burning out. A near-miss on a warehouse forklift becomes a masterclass in composure: breathe, stabilize, then act. That simple shift shows why urgency can move bodies but presence engages minds, and why short-term pressure wins often cost long-term trust.

We explore the trap of mistaking productivity for leadership, and why delegating tasks without developing people backfires. You’ll hear how supportive accountability raises standards instead of lowering them, and how systems—content calendars, workflows, communication rhythms—create margin for coaching and connection. When teams feel seen, they take ownership. When they take ownership, performance compounds. Trust becomes a force multiplier.

From faith-driven purpose to day-to-day execution, we connect the private habits that set your tone with the public results your team delivers. Learn to curate urgency instead of living in it, swap intensity for consistency, and build culture that outlasts a single sprint. We leave you with practical steps: invest in one relationship, replace one pressured moment with presence, and turn one recurring task into a development path. Subscribe, share with a leader who needs this, and leave a review so more builders can lead with quiet confidence and build work that lasts.

Huge shout out to my dude Jason Stephens that is my Music Creator, Information coming to get him to do your music as well!!!

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Transcript

Setting The Stage And Struggle

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to Build for Confidence, the podcast where kingdom builders rebuild identity, sharpen clarity, and lead with conviction. I am your host, Coach Paul Ibarra, and every week we're cutting through the noise to help you stop second guessing, start deciding, and build with confidence right where God has placed you. So listen, drop a review, drop a comment, hit that like, subscribe, all the things, and let's get started. My friend Coach Paul here wanted to just say hello once again on this Monday morning. And I've got a question for you. Before we even get started, because I'm gonna draw you in to my life, the things that I'm working through right now, the the day that I've had to deal with. And so my first question for you today is have you ever had those moments where you're like, uh, I just don't want to do something. I don't want to do this. I don't want to have to go groceries, I don't want to have to deal with clients, I don't want to have to deal with a customer, I don't want to deal with my wife, my husband, my people. I just want to be left alone because I've done so much stuff. And I just want to be left alone. Well, that's my day to day. So as I'm putting these episodes together, I'm getting ready to go to Israel in two days from now. Matter of fact, yeah, two, three days from now. This is Friday, January 23rd, and this episode is dropping on the 9th of February. But see, I'm getting everything ready because even though, even as this episode is dropping, I'm already back home, but I know I'm not going to have the bandwidth to be able to record another podcast and serve you well and show up in the right stance. And so as I'm sharing that this morning, I was scheduling out a whole lot of episodes and emails and midweek emails and drops and all the things and creating, right? And just getting everything ready so that I don't have to worry about anything as I go to Israel.

Loudness Versus Real Leadership

SPEAKER_00 2:25

And I started looking at my emails and I started looking at my um Asana projects, and I'm like, there's something wrong with these episodes. Well, I had everything all mischeduled. So I took like an hour just getting this stuff together and like, oh man, you know what? I'm just ready to unplug. I'll figure out episode or conversation number seven. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow on a Saturday. I'm like, no, I got too much stuff going on. I got the men's group, ministry, all the stuff, and I still have to be a husband, a pops, a dog owner, and a podcaster coming to you and you know, hanging out with you. So, first of all, thank you for listening into my little crybaby moment. But I think it kind of goes into what we're gonna be talking about today. We're gonna be talking about quiet leadership, people first growth, and sustainable performance. And what we're gonna be talking about is why the loudest leaders aren't typically the strongest. Now, you might be listening to me say, well, Coach Paul, you're kind of loud, but you're a leader. Well, there's a difference. There's a there's a huge difference in all of it. Loud is one thing, but being loud as a boss and trying to exert your loudness to motivate people, eh, it's kind of misunderstood. Right? And there's times when leadership is often misunderstood as volume, urgency, and and and that forcefulness. Have you ever been in that situation? At a job, corporate, a business, whatever. But see, here's the thing loud leadership can create motion, but it isn't always stability. Now, I can think of a few jobs that I've had where it's been a forceful environment. Like the louder they got, you just knew you had to perform. And that's not that's not that's not how you motivate people. That's not how I've learned how to motivate people. Because here's the thing real influence is built through presence, not pressure.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

You see, when you were able to create an atmosphere of urgency with peace, clarity and focus with some grit, with some what's the word I'm looking for, with some expectations of what the vision for the day and the outcomes are, right?

SPEAKER_00 5:21

But it doesn't mean that you have to be a bossy boss. There's one way to be a boss, and then there's another way to be bossy, and not a lot of people really understand that concept, right? So when we look at this, that just breaking it down this way is real leadership, people will trust leaders when they're calm in the room. Now, I'm passionate, I'm loud, I could get things started, but when I've learned over the years that when something happens, if I panic,

The Forklift Story And Calm Under Fire

SPEAKER_00 6:02

I freeze. Other people freeze, like, oh my God. So there was this one time I used to work for this place called Jobright in Akron, Ohio, and there were hot tubs on what, three tiers high, maybe four, on these huge steel racks. Well, I went to pick one up one day with the forklift, and we were supposed to have spotters. We're supposed to have somebody climb up there, look, okay, stick your forks in there. Okay, cool, cool, cool. We're good to go. Lift, tilt. Okay, cool. I was solo. I said, man, I got this. I get up there, boom. I go up and I lift up this hot tub. And the hot tub, I grabbed it the wrong way, and it started to tilt off the forks. And I perfect timing because another guy, one of the service guys, Chris, came in and he's laughing and joking. I'm like, dude, this is this is serious, bro. Like, this thing's gonna fall. And he's looking at me and he's still laughing. And he said, Okay, dude, like, breathe. Number one, let's breathe. Number two, put the forklift in park. And he's standing way away from the hot tub. He said, No, just just stay there. You're in park. Yes, okay, cool. I'm gonna go and grab the ladder, I'm gonna get up there and I'm gonna see what's going on. Cool. He gets the ladder, walks up there. Now he's directing me. And if you could even tell in my tone, this is how he was talking to me. And this is 20 years ago. I'm like, this hothead, and I'm like, ugh, and then we get it down, and I'm like, dude, thank you, man. Like, you know, I was just freaking out. He was like, bro, when things like this happen, you have to learn to just breathe because the worst that's gonna happen is that thing is gonna fall and it's gonna be destroyed. It's product, we'll fix it, or we'll replace it. And that's one of the greatest moments that I ever had because I was able to see the calmness in this person. And he wasn't even a manager, a supervisor, he was just part of the service department. But he was a lot older than me. He had a lot more wisdom and experience, right? So when I look at that, I look at that being quiet leadership, and here's what it really looks like. Quiet leadership isn't about passive leadership, here's how it shows up how you listen instead of reacting, how you respond under pressure, and how you consistently follow through.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

How consistently you follow through, how I follow through, how we all follow through.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

You see, because consistency, especially when you're calm, cool, and collective, builds credibility. People want you on their team, they will hire you, they will bring you on their team to say, we need somebody like you that in uh danger situations, you know how to keep the peace. There's an urgency, but there's not a critical danger that's gonna come out of you. And what it does is it builds trust over time. And see, trust is one of those things in life. The truth is, is if you didn't trust me, you wouldn't be tuned into this podcast. You wouldn't share this out. You wouldn't tell your friends and family, man, you need to go check out Coach Paul. Why? Because there's no trust. But you see, the consistency of courage and confidence, that's where everything begins to shift and change. So urgency and panic can only move people temporarily. Now, when something happens and it's like, listen, I need everyone to move now. That means everyone's gonna move now. If there's a fire, people are gonna move fast, but then that's

Presence, Trust, And Consistency

SPEAKER_00 10:20

it. Right? But it's gonna also exhaust them when they're under a radar all day long, and that's the cost of urgency in in in in leadership when it's not curated properly. Because over time, urgency erodes, which rottens out.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

It's like rust on a car. It erodes trust, engagement, ownership, closeness, relationship.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

Because leaders don't lose people because of high standards. Here's how they lose them: they lose people because of constant pressure without support. It is proven fact that someone who is at a high-paced job will only last anywhere from two to three years and then they're done. Once they're burnt out, they're burnt out. They will go hard, hard, hard, hard, hard. But if there's no rest in between, you're gonna lose your people.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

So when we look at leadership, when we look at confidence, tasks drive output.

SPEAKER_00 11:37

But see, people drive sustainability. If all you are is task-driven in your workplace, in your business, in your ministry, whatever that is, you're going to confuse productivity with leadership. Well, I'm being this productive. Yeah, but your team is burnt out. You need to learn how to delegate because delegate without development leads to burnout. And that's what this is all about. I take people from burnout to bold out, from spinning to winning, helping them reframe their mindset to say, you know what? There's gonna be some tasks that need to be left at the wayside. Now, I could have easily freaked out and be like, I'm done for the day. Remember that venting that I was doing earlier? I'm just done. You know what? If I drop a podcast, cool. And if I don't, I'm not worried about it. But listen, when I say I'm going to be consistent and show up every single Monday in that Spotify, Apple, Buzz Sprout, wherever you're listening in from, and I'm saying this is where I'm going to show up, and I don't show up, what does that say about my leadership? What does it say about my development? What does it say about my clarity? What does it say about my consistency? Right? And so we as leader have to ask these questions. Am I managing work or am I developing people? Am I managing my podcast? Am I managing my emails? Or am I really truly working on building a relationship with you as the listener? So if you are podcasting, what is the mission behind it? And where have you prioritized efficiency over connection? Because we could try to be as efficient as we want, and that's very vital. But if I don't have any connection with you, if I can't share my story, my flaws, my hiccups, and my wins with you, I'm gonna lose you.

SPEAKER_01 13:41

And that's that's not real leadership. That's not where God has us. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 13:50

And going on to the next point, I want to talk about why people first leadership strengthens performance. It's the connection piece, right? First people leadership does not lower standards. I will not lower my standards. I may not have my background that I usually have, but I have my good lighting. I've got a good microphone. I'm I'm not lowering my standards just because I had a shabacco earlier today. And what this also does is it also also strengthens culture and accountability. This lets you know no matter what, I'm still showing

Urgency’s Cost And Burnout

SPEAKER_00 14:30

up. You're still showing up, you're listening to this podcast. And see, people are gonna feel supported when they're able to take ownership. When you feel supported, you're gonna perform consistently. I feel supported by the downloads that are coming through with this podcast, with the with the emails that are being responded to, the text blasts that are being responded to as well. When people feel supported, when I feel supported, when you feel supported, you stay engaged under pressure no matter what, because you are my community. You are connecting with me and I'm connecting with you. Make sense? Now here's the thing: trust becomes a performance multiplier. Because at some point you may say, How do I jump on your team? How do I help you build Kingdom Link Network? How do I join Kingdom Link Network? I want more of this teaching. We just don't know. But it it creates that multiplication of performance.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

And this is where we have to look at all of these different areas of our life. And this is what's going to build confidence for your life today. This is what's going to build confidence for your business. And again, I don't speak from a place of theory, I speak from a place of experience. And I also do not speak from a place of arrival because I'm learning every single day. When I put these podcasts together, I'm learning. I'm learning how to speak a little bit more solid. I'm learning how to enunciate certain words. Um I'm I'm learning to read the room in a local setting. Right? And so as we come to really start tying into this this conversation, is understanding sustainable performance versus short-term results. Pressure produces short-term wins. That's what pressure does. Development produces long-term stability. When you're under pressure, you're going to win, but then you're walking away going, I don't want that environment in my life every single day. But see, that there is going to also help you to understand how do we develop something that's sustainable? How do we develop a system? The same with me with these podcasts. How do I create something that is able to be sustainable? Not just a podcast just to hear my voice, but an email marketing system, some type of a funnel for my business to where when I create this system, and trust me, building the system is not easy. It takes time. For my podcast, for my business, for my network, for my ministry, for all of those things. But see, I have to be able to allow God to develop me and build that confidence, knowing that no matter what, this is gonna take some work. If it takes me two to three months to really um hone down in and polish up this system, then that's what it's gonna take. And that's okay. Because once the system is built, then everything falls right into place. It's like gears in a cog. You know what I'm saying? So I want you to understand this sustainable performance is built through trust, clarity, and consistent leadership presence. That's in everything that we do. Because results

Tasks, Delegation, And Development

SPEAKER_00 18:20

follow culture, not the other way around. Results follow culture, and culture isn't a nationality. Culture is what you build: community, connection, collaboration, confidence, commitment, consistency. I've got a whole bunch of C's. You know what I'm saying? Because here's the thing when we are able to do these things in the dark, when we're able to create leadership in the dark, it starts at home. It starts in this office, it starts with all the post-its, it starts with all the notepads, it starts with the those mornings that I don't want to show up. That's where it starts. But it's showing up knowing that if it doesn't start in my home, it's never gonna work at work.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

Right?

SPEAKER_00 19:11

Consistency, listening, and calm decision making matter most, especially with those that are closest to you.

SPEAKER_01 19:24

And if you can hone that in that in, you'll come to understand that the way you lead privately eventually shows up publicly.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

Because when you come to a a person's home and you feel that stability, you feel that foundation, that's when you know this person got it together. It's not just something that they do when they're on the clock, or it's not just something that they do when they're online, it's not just something they do when I'm listening to their podcast. Of these days, I'll have a I'll have an open mic with me and my wife. Maybe we could just break down how we create that peace in the home. Let me know if that would be something that you would like to listen to. Because I I could definitely make that happen. And I just think that would be awesome. So here's some takeaways. Okay. Identify where you're leading with urgency instead of presence. Take a moment, write them out. The second thing is choose one relationship to invest in more intentionally. Now that could be anyone, somebody, neighbor, friend, co-worker, business partner, pastor, whatever that is. The third thing is shift from task management to people development. If you have a network or if you're a group, a coach that has group coaching. Shift from just giving out management, you know, tasks, but develop your people.

SPEAKER_01 21:02

Lead with consistency, not intensity.

SPEAKER_00 21:07

Because intensity burns out. And the last one is focus on building trust before demanding results. Ooh, that's a tough one for some people. Especially as bosses. I I want these results. Build trust with your people, and they're gonna work double for you when they really truly love you.

SPEAKER_01 21:30

So let me empower you right now. You as a leader don't have to be loud. Matter of fact, let's just shift that.

SPEAKER_00 21:47

You are grounded, you are people first leadership, and you create performance that lasts. You are building people well, and all the momentum that you're looking for is going to follow. If that's you, do me a huge favor and leave me a review on Apple, leave me a comment here on Spotify or wherever you're listening in on YouTube, Facebook, whatever that may be. Listen, I want you to understand something that this is everything, everything is so vital in your life, and this is where all things begin to shift in your life. When you look at your leadership and

Sustainable Systems And Culture

SPEAKER_00 22:30

you're able to really truly build and expand God's kingdom by operating at your most optimal level, taking care of the people that God has given you to steward. Make sense? So if you want to be a part of a community that is able to not only challenge you, but really dive into where God has taken them and wants to take you, then I encourage you to check out our Kingdom Link Network. All right. It is a private Facebook group that we are having conversations. We have events that are coming up, especially in Q2. We're building out this group, we're having fun, there's posts, there's engagement, all the things. But I definitely want to see you in this group, okay? Because God has something planned for you. If you're in a space where you want to be around kingdom builders, if you're in a place where you feel like you're a little bit burned out, but you want to bold out, you want to go from spinning to winning, and you want to build something that is going to outlast you, then KLN, Kingdom Link Network, is the place that you need to be. Okay, so that's all I got for you today. I love you, God bless you. I will see you here on conversation number eight. And remember, get out there, build some kingdom. I love you, God bless you, and we'll catch you on the next conversation. All right, peace. Do me a huge favor, drop me a review, and also let me know which episode has touched your life. My passion is to help business owners grow, scale, and expand for the kingdom of God. So let's get out there, let's build our businesses, share this out, hit that like, all the things, and we'll catch you on our next episode. God bless you.