E. 5 How Mentors, Alignment, And Legacy Shape Lasting Leadership

Leadership rarely fails for lack of talent; it falters in isolation. Coach Paul opens up about the seasons that nearly broke him, and the gritty mentor who helped rebuild his convictions, clarity, and courage. Through stories that cut through hype and hustle, we unpack why carrying your vision alone leads to burnout, how the right mentor shortens your learning curve, and why legacy grows best in relationships that outlast titles and numbers.

We dig into the quiet realities of leadership:

• the tension that shapes character,
• the difference between shifting and drifting, and
• the discipline of communicating vision until your team actually owns it.

You’ll hear the lesson that stuck for decades—“I don’t need to be a millionaire; I want to live like one”—and how that mindset flips the script from image to impact. If your staff just clocks in and out, if your goals feel heavy, or if you’ve been grinding without growth, this conversation offers a reset rooted in integrity, presence, and proximity.

You’ll walk away with simple, actionable steps:

• find one person who pours into you,
• choose one person to pour into,
• share your vision clearly and often, and
• prioritize the relationships that make results sustainable.

We believe you are not self-made—you are shaped by mentorship, alignment, accountability, and community. Join us as we build businesses that serve people, create value, and leave something that outlives us.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and join our Kingdom Linked Network community on Facebook to connect, collaborate, and keep growing together. CLICK HERE TO JOIN 

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Transcript

Welcome And Housekeeping

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to Build for Confidence, the podcast where kingdom builders rebuild identity, sharpen clarity, and lead with conviction. I am your host, Coach Paul Ibarra, and every week we're cutting through the noise to help you stop second-guessing, start deciding, and build with confidence right where God has placed you. So listen, drop a review, drop a comment, hit that like, subscribe, all the things, and let's get started. Hey, hey, hey, what's going on, my friend, and welcome back, y'all, to conversation number five. We're about to get started. I'm just checking to make sure everything is flowing good. So listen, if you are coming in on Facebook or YouTube, I just want to welcome you in and those that are listening to the podcast over on Spotify, Apple, um, Apple Podcasts, and all your favorite podcast platforms, I just want to welcome you to today's conversation. And we're going to dive into something that's very unique to me for myself, for my lifestyle, uh simply because I had this type of element in my life in order to uh help me reach that next level. And so what we're gonna be talking about today as I pull up my notes and get my stuff going, uh, first of all, I just want to just remind you just drop a review, uh, add a comment to wherever you are right now tuning in. I would definitely love to connect with you. And just super excited because we're in the month of February, and I really can't even believe, I can't believe that it's already February. This is February 2nd of 2026. It almost seems like we just started 2026, and here we are. We are in the mix, baby. And so, man, I'm just so excited because so much has been going on in my life. So I would definitely love to hear what's going on in yours. How has January been for you? How has your business elevated? How has God been pouring into your life?

Setting The Theme: Mentorship And Legacy

SPEAKER_00 2:30

How have you seen the hand of God in everything that you're doing? Because that's the important thing. It's not only going after our next level, not only scaling and building and expanding and all the things, right? But those moments that we're with our families, those moments that we're able to, like that old school, and I'm dating myself, reach out, reach out and touch someone, reach out, reach out, and just say hi. That old, I think it was Pacific Bell or anyway, back in the 80s, late 70s, early 80s, that was like the conversation everybody knew. Like, I'm about to reach out and touch someone in different ways, right? But just thinking about just life with your family, like who have you been able to touch? Who has touched your life? Who has left a fingerprint on your life? Whether you're the leader, the mentor, the guide, the coach, the hero, no matter what level you are, like how has that impacted your life? And that's what we're going to be talking about today. We're going to be talking about mentorship, alignment, and legacy, and how strong leaders are formed. And like I said, I can speak to this so well because I had a few AAA double g mentors in my life that literally did life, not only business-wise, but spiritually. Life, grit, integrity, those areas of your life. Have you ever been in that moment, in that, in that state of mind, in that season where you're just in this place where you're trying to figure things out, and you're like, man, if I if I could just get this one thing, and then all of a sudden, if you're anything like me, there were people that would come into my life and I would hear a few things, only the things that made me feel good, but all the things that I knew that I was supposed to do, I wasn't really tapping into those moments, or I wasn't leaning my ear into that part of the conversation. Am I alone? I would I would definitely love to know. Am I alone in this in this space? I hope I'm not. But see, I was in this place where I was in a very destructive place in my life. And maybe I'll put that on on like a like a bonus episode. Let me know in the comments if you would love some bonus uh bonus. Let me just spit that out right. Bonus episodes. Now, now here's just a disclaimer. I don't edit these uh podcasts whatsoever. So if I start stuttering, I just start over. If I'm coming on and you hear clicks on my mic, it's because I'm getting things ready. If I'm pulling up notes, it's because that's what I'm doing. Because I want to do life with you. I want to be able to know that there's some type of an impact, some type of a mentorship that maybe I can do for you. Because I'm here to serve you on these podcasts. Right? So, so, so going back to what I was saying, like I was in this place, in this state of mind, like, man, I'm just so in a dark place. Have you ever been there? And this is pre-Jesus. And then there were moments post-Jesus. And so I'm gonna be touching on a few of these points today. Hopefully, I can reach all of them, and hopefully, this is going to be able to help bless you and strengthen you and encourage you for your next level. So I want to talk about this mentorship thing, and I want to talk about the reason that leaders stall. The real reason leaders stall. Leadership doesn't stall because of the lack of talent or drive, because I believe that you are very highly gifted. You are

Isolation, Burnout, And Vision Drift

SPEAKER_00 7:20

very anointed if you're a believer, you're very well spoken as a speaker. But here's why it stalls because of isolation. You see, I've always known on the inside of me that I've had something of quality. I've I I I always knew that there was something on the inside, but I couldn't operate in that simply because of the bad stuff that I did in life, the crazy stuff that happened to me, the crazy things that I did to other people, and the craziness that I did to myself. And so, what did it do? It caused me to isolate. And so, coming into this conversation about isolation and stalling of leadership, it often also comes through the place of burnout. Burnout comes from the place of carrying your vision alone. And this is why it's imperative for you that's listening right now to learn how to not only delegate but communicate. When you're able to communicate a message to somebody, somebody you may be bringing onto your team, somebody that you are um mentoring. Maybe there's there's something that's going on in your life. Maybe there's some type of a collaboration, right? The only way that you are truly going to grow, build, and scale is by not carrying your vision alone. Now, to those out there who are building teams, you've got a business and you and you see the vision and the money's coming in and everything, but your teammates, your employees, just show up and they clock in and they clock out. Most times is because they don't know the vision. They don't know the vision that you have for the place of business. So sometimes that burnout comes because you don't see things growing. So you kind of hunker down and get into this isolation and you start doing things all on your own, right? But here's the thing: many leaders like yourself, you don't need more effort, you need more perspective. And this is where your mentorship comes in. Not you mentoring somebody, and you can do that, but who's mentoring you? Who's pouring in into your life? So if you don't mind, I would love to share a piece of my story with you. Back in my dark place, like I was talking about, back in that place where I knew that there was something better than where I was. I was working, I had my own apartment. This is, she's 23, 24 years ago. I had finally hit a place that I thought was dynamic. I wasn't living on my sister's couch. I wasn't hanging out on my homeboy's couch. I wasn't sleeping on somebody's floor. I wasn't borrowing somebody's car. I actually had a job, very productive. I had my license now, a car, an apartment, making sales, all the fun stuff. But there was still that dark piece on the inside of me. And so to condense this story, because I don't want to labor this too long, no matter how busy I thought I was and how productive I was for a business owner, and his name was Oliver Teague, I was exhausted inwardly. You see, and this is where sometimes we get in a place of as long as I can perform, now I don't have to worry about people looking on the inside. Does that make sense? Have you been there? It's a struggle, right? But it was these divine moments of my darkest place of not knowing God. I was raised Jehovah's Witness, but I didn't know God. And I just prayed out to God one day, like, I'm at this job right now and I need something, not even better. I just need more hours. I need to be able to provide for myself. And there was that one moment at the right time where I consider him like my Mickey and Rocky. You know what I'm saying? And so I went through this phase, man, where he was old school and gritty and integrity, and some people would have called him mean, but there was just something about him that I saw myself. And I said, if I could just learn from this guy, then I think I could do pretty well. And here's one of the things that he told me that always stuck with me learn from me, but also learn what not to do. Because I'm fixed in my own way. Don't ever get so caught up in just your own perspective, in your own eyesight that you have to be able to see through other people's eyes. And I'm like, huh. And then there was this these, I mean, there were so many conversations that we had. And one of the conversations and one of the statements that he told me was, Paul, I don't, you know, that because I was looking at his success and I'm like, man, like you, you don't, you, you, you, you don't, you don't showboat, man, because that's what I was used to, the streets showboating. People who had money, they're out there letting the people letting the world know that they had money. This guy didn't look like he had money. But here's the thing, he he he he said this statement, and it really stuck with me for so long. He said, Paul, I don't, I, I don't, I don't need to be a millionaire. I just want to live like one. And I and I didn't understand it in a moment, but now, as a 53-year-old man, a grandpa, I know that statement now. I don't need all the glitz and glam. I don't do business for the money. The money is great, right? And yes, we create business to create revenue. Here's what I'm getting at. I don't do it to go and make money, I do it to create

The Oliver Story: Grit And Integrity

SPEAKER_00 13:45

an impact, to help people and serve them in the areas that they need serving. And they're gonna pay me. But that's not the number one goal. It's to leave something that outlives me. You follow me, and so that that two to three years of his mentorship and he's being my boss, there was there was some ugly times. But it also helped me reshape the way I thought, how I decide things, and how I lead. And that's where mentorship ignites growth. That's where it ignites growth in you. Mentorship will literally shorten learning curves for your life. There's things that I know now that I teach other people, like doing live streams and what platforms to use, and Cap Cut and TikTok and all the things. It's like I'm teaching people the things that I took years to learn. It literally shortens the learning curves. It also exposes those blind spots that you can't see on your own. And so, you as a business owner, you're not only mentoring somebody's just so they so they can be more productive, but you're helping impact that person's life. Because growth accelerates in proximity, not isolation. And that's what I learned that when I finally got to a place of being able to share my life with other people and not look at things like I did in the street, like, you know, got my mind on my money and my money on my mind. I got my own agenda. But when I started seeing things out of other people's eyes, that's where everything changed. Does that make sense? And and and we have to come to a place to understand that we don't we're not self-made. We're shaped by circumstances, situations, by um moments, memories. I mean, right now I'm just having an open dialogue with you right now. It's that one listener that's listening right now. That one moment, those memories that you create. And as I'm just thinking back, going, dang, a lot of years, rest his soul. He died probably eight years ago. Strong man, good man of God. He didn't know every scripture, but he knew how to lead, right? So what I also want to let you know, and this is how you're gonna be built today, is that leadership has two different directions. Because here's the thing as he was mentoring me, we had conversations that he was learning from me as well. And so in those moments, I want to ask you this question. Because there's two directions, there's two currencies that are happening in your life. Who is pouring into you? And who are you pouring into? You see, sometimes it happens right there in the moment where there's tension sometimes in leadership, and that's where most people want to run. That's where you've ran before. Where there's tension, oh, that's got to be the enemy. No, there's got to be resistance in order for you to build your muscle. There's got to be resistance in order for you to win that trophy, that that that Super Bowl ring. So when somebody's pouring into you, it's sometimes it feels like sandpaper. Sometimes it feels like I don't want to deal with this right now. Right. And here's what happens when when one of those sides are missing. No input is burnout and drift. No output, stagnation and selfish leadership. What does that mean? If I have no input, if there's nothing coming in from an outside source that sees something different in me that I don't see in myself, I get burnt out and I'm drifting. We want to call it shifting. Oh, God, shifting me this way. No, listen, baby. Excuse me. Sometimes it's a drift from what? Burnout. And let me tell you something. I don't, I don't, I don't teach this from theory, I teach it from experience, but I also don't teach it from a place of arrival because I'm continuing to learn every day. So with no output, once you get poured into no output, guess what? You become a dirty old pond. You see, a river constantly flows, a pond gets stagnant. Is there life in there? Yeah, but there's limited life. And here's where healthy leaders live. They live in the middle of both. You're able to weigh. You're able to toggle, you're able to shift the scale sometimes. You're able to look at everything as a leader, as a business owner, and say, This is where we're, this is where we're heading. It all comes back down to relationships because let's face it, we want results in our business, right? Results matter, but relationships last. What kind of a relationship are you building that's going to last? Are you just having these rare conversations with people and they're just telling you all the negative stuff and you're just kind of like hanging out? Listen, I don't have I don't have time for that. There's a certain amount of people that I rock out with that I will share those conversations. But here's the thing: we work together almost daily. Now I'm not saying they're my business partners, I'm saying they're people in my life that are in the same lane, on the same path, heading in the right direction. You follow me? You got some people on this side doing this and negativity, negative, negative, all the stuff. And then you're trying to go this way over here, but you can't because you keep getting pulled back. A real leader can decipher that even though there's two ways, two sides to that coin. Because getting back to what I was saying, results matter, but that relationship, that real relationship is gonna last. Here's another one. Titles fade, numbers reset. But watch this. People remember presence. I'm gonna let that sit for a minute. People remember presence. Would me and Oliver talk money? Yes. But he was never about like, oh, we got to get rid of this, like out of this job now because oh, we only got two minutes left. No, integrity is we're building a relationship with a customer, even though it's gonna

Lessons Learned: Perspective Over Effort

SPEAKER_00 21:30

take us longer, the numbers are gonna add up at the end of the day, everything's gonna be fine, right? And this is where that there's just so much that we can unpack today. So much. I help people create those. However, in order for you to be effective, there's got to be trust, consistency, and presence compounded over time. It's like any type of relationship. That's what mentorship does for you. Right? Because you don't just accidentally build legacy, you build it relationally. Martin Luther King built it relationally. The biggest millionaires out there. Now they, I don't know, I have my reservations about some people, but at the same time, I don't know that person personally. But I'm sure they've got some type of relationship that's helping them to build, grow, and scale. Right? So, where does it all start? Every bit of it starts at home, especially for my kingdom builders. Those of you who want to build that good lifestyle, it starts at home. You can't just show up in the public like I'm doing this awesome thing. Look at my family. We're like the trophy family, and then you get home and crickets. I've been there. Maybe I'll share that story down the line. It doesn't start on stage or in business, it starts with character, integrity, and how you show up consistently every single day. Home is the first place that leadership is tested. That's where you're gonna get tested the most. And if you disagree, give me a comment. Let me know how you're doing it so perfectly. Right. So if we could just look at takeaways for you, for me, for us. Here it is. Identify one person who pours into you. Identify that one person. Like take a moment right now, as you're listening to this podcast. If you want to pause it, pause it. But I've identified that person who pours into you. Maybe it's your neighbor, maybe it's your boss, maybe it's your your pastor, maybe it's your brother, your sister, your your aunt, your uncle, maybe it's me on this podcast. I don't know. Right? But then at the same time, I want you to identify one person that you're intentionally pouring into, because that's where it all comes together. Do we want to be a river or do we want to be a pond? Right? And stop trying to figure all this thing out alone. This is what mentorship, this is where true legacy legacy leadership stems from, is trying to figure it out with other people, collaborating with others. That you listen, you can go somewhere fast alone, or you can go further with people, the right people. So I want you to understand this that as you are building with confidence, clarity, and consistency, you're not self-made. We're not self-made. You know what we're built through? You know what you've been built through? Mentorship, alignment, accountability, and relationships. Growth isn't solo work. Growth is built where others are around. When you look at plants, they have to pollinate, the male and the female. It takes a bee, takes honey to, you know, for the bee to create, I almost said a honey to eat eat honey. I mean a bee to eat honey, but that's not how it works. There's so much involved in in that in that flower that comes forth or that herb that comes forth. There has to be pollination, right? So it's not solo work. And here's what I want to leave you with today. If you allow me to empower you today, I believe in you. I believe that you are that mentor. I believe that the mentor that's in your life is pouring something valuable in you. I believe that you can go out there and tackle the world today because today is a whole new day. Today is Monday, February 2nd, a day that will never ever happen again in 2026. It'll never, this day will never happen again. This conversation will never happen again. These moments that you create today, they will not happen again. So, what are you willing to do with it? What are you willing to do with that today? What are you willing to do with that today? And also, what are you willing to sacrifice today? So we're coming to a close. I want you to understand something that I love to stay connected with people. If these conversations are bringing you value, number one, do me a favor, drop a comment. Number two, share this podcast out, whether you're

Two-Way Leadership: Input And Output

SPEAKER_00 27:40

watching it on video or on your favorite plat uh podcast platform, share it out with somebody, send it to somebody. Say, man, you gotta you gotta like follow this dude, and then hit a follow if there's a follow button wherever you are. And lastly, if you want to be around kingdom business owners and you want to stay accountable to these conversations, head on over to my Facebook private group for our Kingdom Link Network. This is where businesses collide together. We connect, we build community, and we collaborate. Okay? Head on over to the group. There's events that are coming down the pipeline, workshops and masterclasses and connect calls and all the things. And I just want to encourage you today to look at your life today and say, how can I connect with more people? And if it's not connecting with me, then connect with somebody today. Take a moment today. Love on your neighbor, love on your family, find that person that needs mentoring, find that person that you know can mentor you and keep moving forward. Remember, come and check out our private Facebook group. The link is in the show notes. That's all I got for you today. I love you. God bless you. And that's all I got for now. All right. Peace. Do me a huge favor, drop me a review, and also let me know which episode has touched your life. My passion is to help business owners grow, scale, and expand for the kingdom of God. So let's get out there, let's build our businesses, share this style, hit that like, all the things, and we'll catch you on our next episode. God bless.